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I'm gonna be completely honest with you all. I flunked out of college because the career I dreamed of achieving, being a doctor, was apparently the wrong choice. Now I'm living at home with my dysfunctional, overbearing family who tell me repeatedly that they don't care and they love me, but I can see just pure disappointment behind their eyes every time they look at me. I'm going to community college now, and its back to square one, where I've always been in social life, at the bottom. People see me and assume I'm an awkward as f*** kid and don't approach me, and I am an awkward as f*** kid so it doesn't help. It also doesn't help that I had one friend living in the area, and now he's gone. I'm fat, I'm unattractive, I have no friends, and nothing ever seems to get better. I mean, seriously, what's the point. I'm literally a living, breathing disappointment. And I'm angry, just all the time now. And its a cycle, is what pisses me off the most. Its like life is baiting and tricking me into thinking that things are about to turn out for the better, and then it drops hard enough to realize how things really are. And what is life anymore, all anyone does is work in the long run. First its school, then its college, then its scramble for a job, work to pay for bills and other shit that'll cost more money in the long run, work for retirement. And when you finally stop working, you'll have maybe 5-10 years of health problems and then you die. And that stuff about "having someone to live for" and whatever else is also just bs. They'll always leave you.
TL;DR Fuck everything.
#333
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9/23/2013 at 2:45 AM
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