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I feel guilty for thinking that my life is going down the drain because you are in it and that as long you are in it, nothing will change--that I will continue to feel as though something is dragging me down, making me feel guilty for things that are not even my fault, making me feel bad for things that you do to me as if I deserved them, the very things that I carefully do not do to you because I know you will not like it. Yet somehow, you always find a way. It's not fair that you get to get away with these things while I live my life carefully to keep myself under constraint. It's not fair. It's just not fair. I thought being a good person would at least have its perks. That somehow life will be good to you if try your best to be good to people around you. But it's just not fair. People can be cruel and inconsiderate, cold hearted, self centred, and arrogant. As if the world revolved around you. As if people lived to please you. As if the universe conspired to make me miserable as you feed on my misery. I just don't understand. It's just not fair. I hope one day you wake up and realize that the world isnt yours. I hope one day you wake up and feel bad for the things you have done. I hope it hits you like a bullet so badly just to put you in the same place as I'm feeling now. The sad part is you have no idea how I'm feeling right now and I have no plans of letting you know. I feel like one day I will just choose to get away from you and everyone else just so I can escape, because I don't know how to tell you directly that I no longer want you in my life. You're toxic to me. How could I have let you kill me inside all these years.
#308
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Comments (1)
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6/1/2013 at 12:22 AM
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Relationships
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I Feel You (5)
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Get Over It (0)
I always ambition to hopefully make them better people one day but sadly not very good at it as I crash before I succeed.
Need a very strong mind to carry on in such relationships.
It's a big war - love vs unbearable traits
I strive to be a good person, be my best but god, the bad people just don't get it. They take it for granted and only keep taking!
Let us pray that we have the wisdom to get out of this situation soon.