-
Life, eh? Life. This is stream of consciousness nonsense, right here, you know, in an attempt to get noticed by the world. See, the trouble is that there are too many people, man. 7 billion, man, and I am just another idiot. Just another loser in a world of 7 billion. Man, who comes up with this shit. There are 7 billion of us, and, like, how the fuck am I supposed to make any kind of impact? How the fuck, in a world of 7 billion fucking people, how can I even get noticed at all, man? Fucking hell. I suppose this is some mental condition, but there are too many people on this God damn planet, and I feel completely anonymous. I don't know anyone on the street I live in and no one knows me, man, that is an insane way to live life. Like, it isn't normal. It isn't normal to be this degree of anonymous. Seriously, man, I look at people and I feel blocked, you know, and everyone is into their own world, and they won't let you in, and you just watch the world go by, and, like, it is frustrating because it's not like I can see this being different. Like, there is so much that goes unspoken every time I see a person, and I don't even know where to begin, and, yeah, I think too much, and, maybe this is the Western disease where we think ourselves to death, man. Anyway, whatever, I'm trying to get all this shit out of my system, so I don't need any smart answers about what shit I need to do, I need to just get this shit out of my system, like I feel stuck in my mould, it's like that Verve song Bittersweet Symphony, where I'm just stuck in my mould, man, and I want to get rid of this mould because it's completely blocking me from actually experiencing life, man. Fuck that shit.
#199
—
Comments (0)
—
2/19/2013 at 10:38 PM
—
Life
—
I Feel You (0)
—
Get Over It (0)
-
The problem is that I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. Like I will go on the bus a few times a day, not because I have anywhere to go but just to pass the time. It is that bad. Man, I am surprised that I am not insane, you know, because there is no stimulation going on in my mind, like, I can read a book, and after about a sentence I am bored as hell of that book, and then, you know, like I can watch a video on YouTube and after about 10 seconds I am bored as hell of that video. I don't know, maybe, I should get drunk, because that used to be fun. The problem is is that you wake up and have to deal with the same shit when you sober up. Why can't life be like when you are drunk? Why can't that be the actual experience of every day life, instead of needing a bottle to experience. Maybe, I should smoke weed, but it's not legal here so, yeah, and I haven't got friends, so I've got no way of getting that shit sorted. I don't know. That is the big problem of my life, that I don't know. That I sit around and I haven't got a fucking clue about anything. I haven't got a fucking clue. Like, my life, I haven't got any answers whatsoever about anything. I mean, seriously, like, I am so unbelievably clueless, like, none of this shit makes sense. It doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever in any way, shape or form, and I just ride the bus without having a clue about anything or anyone, I am like a fucking zombie, like the living dead, and, man, yeah, I am stuck in this rut every single day, and, yeah, I am just mouthing off, because I don't know, like, I have this retarded attention span, where after 10 seconds I need to focus on something else all the frigging time.
#198
—
Comments (0)
—
2/19/2013 at 10:19 PM
—
Life
—
I Feel You (0)
—
Get Over It (0)
-
I don't know, man. I don't effing know. This is just, argh. I don't know, man, I used to have so many talents, right, I could write, I could perform, I could heal people, and then they all disappear. They all effing disappear, all the talents and skills that I had that made life worth living all effing disappeared, and there's nothing there. I don't know if I feel empty, it's just this lethargy, man. FFS, I want to feel something. I want to feel something. Just something that I can feel. I don't know, man, this numbness, effing hell, what is that about, man? What is the point of that? This is effing torture, man, emotional torture, and I'm, like, seriously, what the fuck, man, come on, for fuck's sake, give me some fucking outlet for something, man, seriously, this is, like, what the fuck? Come on, let's get some passion, right, let;s get some energy because I am sick of this enervation, this fucking, like, lethargy and apathy and fucking nothingness, I mean, seriously, what the fuck is this, man? Come on. For fuck's sake, I want to fucking experience something. Come on. Why is that so hard? What the fuck is that about? I just want to experience life, but this thing is so life diminishing. It kills life. It just does everything it can to destroy life, and, I'm, like, come on let me feel something. I am sick of this numbness and this nothingness and this void. For fuck's sake, we're alive so let's experience life. Why is that so hard? Bloody hell. Anyway, yeah, and tomorrow it's gonna be the same fucking shit all over again. Come on, I want to do something with this stupid fucking life of mine. Bloody hell this is ridiculous. Anyway, whatever, carry on your fucking emotional torture chamber.
#197
—
Comments (0)
—
2/19/2013 at 10:08 PM
—
Life
—
I Feel You (0)
—
Get Over It (0)